So today we were audited, you know the ISO 9001 thingy.. or UL Compliant thingy.. anyway they were auditing us to make sure we know what we are doing and have documented processes to show what we are doing... so they happen to come around to my desk and of course I get total test anxiety and just kinda freak out you know.. so here I am all stresses inside and of course Pete the Auditor is from New York (lives in TX but still from NY) and has a very thick NY'r accent. Well being that I have very COUNTRY EARS, this could pose a problem.. so Pete the auditor from NY starts his audit and something must have struck the internal auditor lady to say something about hunting season, not sure what it was that struck that thought but something did and that is where my story begins.
Pete the Auditor with his NY'r accent says "Oh I bet that would be a good way to get rid of the auditors" and of course me, with my country ears thinks he says "Get rid of these ORDERS" ... so what do I do, I open my big COUNTRY BUTT MOUTH and say "Yeah, we could use some Buck Shot and get THEM all at the same time!!" OMG.. so of course Auditor Pete gets this blank look on his face but then continues with the audit.. so he goes on and asks me questions and breaks in every once in a while with a personal story, you know to make is seem like the pressure isn't on me and stuff.. (didn't work by the way, I was still sweating like a coon wrapped in a wool blanket in Arkansas in July) but I noticed that every couple of minutes or so auditor Pete makes a statement about me THREATENING his life.. and of course I was still checked in the Luxory Suite at The Anxiety Hotel so not really getting it.. so then it is FINALLY over and auditor Pete tells me that I did a good job even though I threatened to shoot him with buck shot and he left..
Ok so that left me completely dumbfounded and I started working and it stayed on my mind and then I hit ENTER to get my order entered in to the system and BLAM!!!!! I had this super sonic, ultra awesome (in a bad way) thing just hit me.. and I scream to myself (if that is possible) "OMG!!!! HE SAID AUDITORS NOT ORDERS.. I JUST FREAKIN SAID THAT I WOULD USE BUCK SHOT TO GET RID OF ALL OF THE AUDITORS AT ONE TIME!!!!" So I bust up out of my chair in search of the Pete the auditor so I could try and explain right.... well he is no where to be found.. (probably filing a police report for the threat he just got) but I see one of my managers and say... "HEY if you see Pete the auditor, tell him that I misunderstood about the Buck Shot thing.. I thought he said ORDERS"... and of course not having the whole story, he just laughs at me and says "OK". Then I have to tell my group manager because he is at my desk asking how my audit went.. "headsmack" .. he just laughed and said.. "Well if we fail the audit we may just have to use your buck shot plan" "DOH"
So there it is ladies and gents.. the story of my life (for today at least)!!!
Monday, November 24, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
The WALL
Ok so after two painstaking days of moving me around the office they have finally given me a final resting place, same spot, cube is just 1/2 the size it was and it is a smidgen closer to the opening of the copy room .. Apparently that seems to be a problem for most of the people I work with.
So I am sitting on a conference call, yes I have a very exciting work life.. uuuhhh not, and all of a freakin sudden I get this loud BLAM and my whole cube shakes, pieces of cube come flying at my feet.. I freak the heck out pick up the screw that rolled by my shoe. Some idiot just ran over my outter cube wall.. I mean like it isn't even there.. I thought he actually drove his 4 Wheel Drive Diesel Eng, Mud Flap wearing Doolie (sp) into my cube wall but I guess it was just him.. so anyway.. now my outter wall has this stupid piece that just hangs there, can't reattach it because it is brokeass and I have no clue where that screw goes or if it even does.. hell it may have came from some other portion of my desk or cube as a result from the whole traumatic experince it just went through. Damn, there is a wall there.. can't you see it.. So this all happened yesterday morning.. and I think.. hmm that guy just must have been drunk or something.. well NO, not even close.. apparently my wall jumps out at people when they walk by because everyone and their mother walks by and they bump into it.. the whol reason for this re-size and move thing was to widen the walk ways between cube areas.. hmmm so we give them more space to walk through and they still HIT MY FLIPPIN CUBE WALL. doesn't make much since.. So me with my brilliant mind decides to put a Sign up that clearly and nicely says "CAUTION: This is a Real Wall!" Well apparently that opened me up for a few smart asses to come by and smack my wall and giggle at me.. well ok so I can deal with immature brats around here and go on about my biz.. ok think that was it.. not quite.. So today I am here early in the morning 7:30amish and it is all nice and quite, relaxing and I am really getting some work done.. I know I know.. don't pass out I do occassionally do my work... but anyway back to the WALL.. so as mentioned before.. I am all relaxing and working getting stuff done.. and all of a freakin sudden again.. here comes Sally BackPack walking around the corner and BLAM just hits my wall and keeps walking like a drunk pig at a Nine Inch Nails Concert in down town Chicago on a hot summers night... and I get so irritated.. like WTF can't you see my wall, can't you walk 2.1 inches further out to avoid hitting my WALL??? Ok so I get over that and continue to work.. I am on a roll why stop now right.. ok well then all of another freakin sudden BLAM, I look over and it is some other clueless chic with a bigass Paris Hilton silver purse that could hold a small horse with room for a bail of hay and some square dancers, she just keeps on walking.. like nothing happened..
So now I am really irritated and thinking "How can I fix this issue" since apparently it isn't going to fix itself as in like maybe they will actually walk around the wall next time.. so what can I do.. well I have no clue.. the wall is all shaky now and the strip is busted and I am at my wits end.. I am going to look for a Saftey Cone to put by it and some police caution tape to see if that brings the wall to someone's attention.. If they would let me I would spray paint it HOT PINK or BRIGHT YELLOW but then it would probably blind them and they would run over it again cuz they really couldn't see it then.. bad idea.. ok thinking, thinking...... ........ .......... ......................................................................
oh sorry I fell asleep.. Well I am out of ideas.. or never really came up with any.. I guess I'll see if I can get the cone and tape and see how that works.. or a bigass bandaid .. that is really what my WALL needs.. poor thing!!!!
Oh and now some smartass put a little note on my sign saying "I don't believe you" hmmmm Annette was that you.. you are in a mood today.. hmmmm well anyway.. if anyone has ideas, please submit them to me and I'll get VZB pay you for your efforts..
I may have to start a collection bucket "SAVE MY WALL"!!!
ok I am out
So I am sitting on a conference call, yes I have a very exciting work life.. uuuhhh not, and all of a freakin sudden I get this loud BLAM and my whole cube shakes, pieces of cube come flying at my feet.. I freak the heck out pick up the screw that rolled by my shoe. Some idiot just ran over my outter cube wall.. I mean like it isn't even there.. I thought he actually drove his 4 Wheel Drive Diesel Eng, Mud Flap wearing Doolie (sp) into my cube wall but I guess it was just him.. so anyway.. now my outter wall has this stupid piece that just hangs there, can't reattach it because it is brokeass and I have no clue where that screw goes or if it even does.. hell it may have came from some other portion of my desk or cube as a result from the whole traumatic experince it just went through. Damn, there is a wall there.. can't you see it.. So this all happened yesterday morning.. and I think.. hmm that guy just must have been drunk or something.. well NO, not even close.. apparently my wall jumps out at people when they walk by because everyone and their mother walks by and they bump into it.. the whol reason for this re-size and move thing was to widen the walk ways between cube areas.. hmmm so we give them more space to walk through and they still HIT MY FLIPPIN CUBE WALL. doesn't make much since.. So me with my brilliant mind decides to put a Sign up that clearly and nicely says "CAUTION: This is a Real Wall!" Well apparently that opened me up for a few smart asses to come by and smack my wall and giggle at me.. well ok so I can deal with immature brats around here and go on about my biz.. ok think that was it.. not quite.. So today I am here early in the morning 7:30amish and it is all nice and quite, relaxing and I am really getting some work done.. I know I know.. don't pass out I do occassionally do my work... but anyway back to the WALL.. so as mentioned before.. I am all relaxing and working getting stuff done.. and all of a freakin sudden again.. here comes Sally BackPack walking around the corner and BLAM just hits my wall and keeps walking like a drunk pig at a Nine Inch Nails Concert in down town Chicago on a hot summers night... and I get so irritated.. like WTF can't you see my wall, can't you walk 2.1 inches further out to avoid hitting my WALL??? Ok so I get over that and continue to work.. I am on a roll why stop now right.. ok well then all of another freakin sudden BLAM, I look over and it is some other clueless chic with a bigass Paris Hilton silver purse that could hold a small horse with room for a bail of hay and some square dancers, she just keeps on walking.. like nothing happened..
So now I am really irritated and thinking "How can I fix this issue" since apparently it isn't going to fix itself as in like maybe they will actually walk around the wall next time.. so what can I do.. well I have no clue.. the wall is all shaky now and the strip is busted and I am at my wits end.. I am going to look for a Saftey Cone to put by it and some police caution tape to see if that brings the wall to someone's attention.. If they would let me I would spray paint it HOT PINK or BRIGHT YELLOW but then it would probably blind them and they would run over it again cuz they really couldn't see it then.. bad idea.. ok thinking, thinking...... ........ .......... ......................................................................
oh sorry I fell asleep.. Well I am out of ideas.. or never really came up with any.. I guess I'll see if I can get the cone and tape and see how that works.. or a bigass bandaid .. that is really what my WALL needs.. poor thing!!!!
Oh and now some smartass put a little note on my sign saying "I don't believe you" hmmmm Annette was that you.. you are in a mood today.. hmmmm well anyway.. if anyone has ideas, please submit them to me and I'll get VZB pay you for your efforts..
I may have to start a collection bucket "SAVE MY WALL"!!!
ok I am out
Date pushed out!
So I got a call from the fertility specialist's office the other day and they say they have to push my appointment date out to 12/02/08.. do they not realize that we are trying to have a baby in this century!!!! I guess I should have expected it since it was the week of Thanksgiving and all. So I guess our next step on the Baby Front is gonna be delayed a bit. Just wanted to give an update.. that is all I have on that.
Friday, November 7, 2008
On to the next step(s)!
Well just to catch you up on the "Car Thing" we didn't get a new door like they had mentioned earlier.. they just put in a new window and bent the door back to the frame.. kept getting Sarah Palin answers on the "how are you going to strengthen it back up" question.. "Oh we just have talented and experienced workers that know what they are doing" uuhh ok where do I sign.. whatever.. anyway we have our car back and it seems to be fine.. I guess if we are driving one day and all of a sudden the door falls off and I fall out hanging by the seatbelt.. we will prob take it back and complain then. Until then, we will just keep driving that car until it falls completely apart.
Now onto the "Baby Thing".. I got the dredded call from my ob/gyn doctor on Monday.. she asked if I got a Positive OPK.. and I told her that I wasn't 100% sure because it changed colors but it was slightly lighter than the control line and also it was a really thin line with most of the color being on the left edge.. she said that didn't sound too much like a positive to her either.. then she said.. "well the one follie you did have was a decent size but I am not sure it could have gotten big enough to do the job.. so I am referring you to the FERTILITY SPECIALIST" Like a horror movie or something.. this eerie noise came screetching behind.. I thought Freddy Kruger was in our house with a fake plastic knife looking for me... so anyway.. yep, you read that right.. I Katie P 36 years young have to go to a Fertility specialist... so tomorrow I head in to get som b/w done and find out if my thyroid and progesterone levels are still good and then on 11/24/08 I have my very first Fertility Specialist appt. Now of course she said "If you do find out you are preggers then just call and cancel your appt" Oh ok, will do, no prob.. like yeah I'm optimistic.. we COULD be preggers.. no big follies, no Ovulation and possibly low progesterone.. but OK, I'll keep a positive outlook on this.. I mean I only (at that time) had 13 days to wait to see if I really was preggers or not.. no big deal.. ok coming down from the high.. I just don't freakin think it happened this cycle.. why even bother worrying about it when I am 98% sure that we didn't get the JOB done this month???? So it is over, I am just working on questions and issues that I need to raise once at my Fertility Specialists appt on 11/24 and today that is only 17 days away. Got my Questions page started and I have checked into our insurance to see what is covered and what is not.. I have spoken with Steve to make sure we are on the same Page on this whole "LETS MAKE A BABY" ordeal and now I just wait! patiently I DON'T THINK so.. poor Steve has to listen to me for another 17 days "How aggressive should we be?, What other questions have I missed?, What will the name of our TLC show be called if we have a whole litter of kids, Jon and Kate plus 8 is taken.. and your name isn't Jon...??" I guess if we have quads we could be called Katie and Steaven's (like how you pronounce heaven) Family of 7.. how does that sound.. oh well I guess I have time to come up with that when the time comes..
Ok now on to the "Holiday Thing".. we may or may not go to AR for Thanksgiving.. since we only have the 2 days off plus the 2 weekend days.. but I bet we will... Steve knows he misses that Country Slang talking place and all those Southern Bells waitin for some chicken at the Git-N-Go... plus I want to see my family.. Then for Christmas we are going to IN to visit Steve's family, it will be a blast watching Joshua and Jackson playing together and opening gifts and fighting over toys and waking each other up during "NAP" time .. oh I can't wait.. now let me be honest with you.. at first I was a bit upset about leaving HOME for Christmas.. see I grew up as a military brat and we were never freakin home for Christmas.. and I swear that is why I never got the trampoline and the other outlandish stuff I asked for .. I mean what the crap.. Santa doesn't keep a GPS system on us to know that we are AR and not in AL or NM where we are supposed to be.. I just don't want Joshua to think that Santa will miss him because he isn't at home.. Steve finally talked some sense into me and I agreed, Thanks Steve now I am stuck at work during the Thanksgiving week and the ISO Auditors will be there and I will be the ONLY SUCKER there to be audited.. guess I better brush up on my ISO crap ehh??
I am actually quite excited about the holidays.. because maybe just maybe we can share some good news at Christmas time with everyone and who knows.. we may hear some good news from our very own LAURA ELIZABETH... Steve and I think she is keeping a secret from us.. we will see!!! Boy wouldnt' that be fun two preggers in the refridgerator at once!!! HOLY COW! That would be awesome though to be preggers at the same time... So anyway back to the "Holiday Thing" I am getting excited about getting gifts and wrapping them.. I think Joshua will be a little more into it this year, he has already given me a few ideas for things he wants from Santa and is patiently waiting for them too. So I gave my mom Hungry Hungry Hippo and will see aboutt he Thomas Track thing (price that is) don't want to hand that off if it is spensy and of course if it has Thomas' name on it I am willing to bet it will be spensy.. I can't wait to decorate the house and have it all smelling like cinnamon and hot chocolate .. yummy. Gotta get to planning on the GNO Christmas Party and get the names out for gifts.. yep Steve will have a job again this year getting that taken care of. Annette has made the decision on the "PLACE" now we gotta come up with the "INVITE LIST, DATE, TIME, & INVITES OUT" . Also I have to start on planning the Mom's weekend out that I want to do next spring.. oh the things I gotta do.. but you know.. I love doing those types of things.. they make me happy. I love to plan things like parties and get togethers and such.. so much fun!!!
Ok well I have taken up a bit of time and now I have to get back to work.. take care all and hope everyone has a wonderful Weekend!!!!
T-Town Rocks, I am OUT!!!
Now onto the "Baby Thing".. I got the dredded call from my ob/gyn doctor on Monday.. she asked if I got a Positive OPK.. and I told her that I wasn't 100% sure because it changed colors but it was slightly lighter than the control line and also it was a really thin line with most of the color being on the left edge.. she said that didn't sound too much like a positive to her either.. then she said.. "well the one follie you did have was a decent size but I am not sure it could have gotten big enough to do the job.. so I am referring you to the FERTILITY SPECIALIST" Like a horror movie or something.. this eerie noise came screetching behind.. I thought Freddy Kruger was in our house with a fake plastic knife looking for me... so anyway.. yep, you read that right.. I Katie P 36 years young have to go to a Fertility specialist... so tomorrow I head in to get som b/w done and find out if my thyroid and progesterone levels are still good and then on 11/24/08 I have my very first Fertility Specialist appt. Now of course she said "If you do find out you are preggers then just call and cancel your appt" Oh ok, will do, no prob.. like yeah I'm optimistic.. we COULD be preggers.. no big follies, no Ovulation and possibly low progesterone.. but OK, I'll keep a positive outlook on this.. I mean I only (at that time) had 13 days to wait to see if I really was preggers or not.. no big deal.. ok coming down from the high.. I just don't freakin think it happened this cycle.. why even bother worrying about it when I am 98% sure that we didn't get the JOB done this month???? So it is over, I am just working on questions and issues that I need to raise once at my Fertility Specialists appt on 11/24 and today that is only 17 days away. Got my Questions page started and I have checked into our insurance to see what is covered and what is not.. I have spoken with Steve to make sure we are on the same Page on this whole "LETS MAKE A BABY" ordeal and now I just wait! patiently I DON'T THINK so.. poor Steve has to listen to me for another 17 days "How aggressive should we be?, What other questions have I missed?, What will the name of our TLC show be called if we have a whole litter of kids, Jon and Kate plus 8 is taken.. and your name isn't Jon...??" I guess if we have quads we could be called Katie and Steaven's (like how you pronounce heaven) Family of 7.. how does that sound.. oh well I guess I have time to come up with that when the time comes..
Ok now on to the "Holiday Thing".. we may or may not go to AR for Thanksgiving.. since we only have the 2 days off plus the 2 weekend days.. but I bet we will... Steve knows he misses that Country Slang talking place and all those Southern Bells waitin for some chicken at the Git-N-Go... plus I want to see my family.. Then for Christmas we are going to IN to visit Steve's family, it will be a blast watching Joshua and Jackson playing together and opening gifts and fighting over toys and waking each other up during "NAP" time .. oh I can't wait.. now let me be honest with you.. at first I was a bit upset about leaving HOME for Christmas.. see I grew up as a military brat and we were never freakin home for Christmas.. and I swear that is why I never got the trampoline and the other outlandish stuff I asked for .. I mean what the crap.. Santa doesn't keep a GPS system on us to know that we are AR and not in AL or NM where we are supposed to be.. I just don't want Joshua to think that Santa will miss him because he isn't at home.. Steve finally talked some sense into me and I agreed, Thanks Steve now I am stuck at work during the Thanksgiving week and the ISO Auditors will be there and I will be the ONLY SUCKER there to be audited.. guess I better brush up on my ISO crap ehh??
I am actually quite excited about the holidays.. because maybe just maybe we can share some good news at Christmas time with everyone and who knows.. we may hear some good news from our very own LAURA ELIZABETH... Steve and I think she is keeping a secret from us.. we will see!!! Boy wouldnt' that be fun two preggers in the refridgerator at once!!! HOLY COW! That would be awesome though to be preggers at the same time... So anyway back to the "Holiday Thing" I am getting excited about getting gifts and wrapping them.. I think Joshua will be a little more into it this year, he has already given me a few ideas for things he wants from Santa and is patiently waiting for them too. So I gave my mom Hungry Hungry Hippo and will see aboutt he Thomas Track thing (price that is) don't want to hand that off if it is spensy and of course if it has Thomas' name on it I am willing to bet it will be spensy.. I can't wait to decorate the house and have it all smelling like cinnamon and hot chocolate .. yummy. Gotta get to planning on the GNO Christmas Party and get the names out for gifts.. yep Steve will have a job again this year getting that taken care of. Annette has made the decision on the "PLACE" now we gotta come up with the "INVITE LIST, DATE, TIME, & INVITES OUT" . Also I have to start on planning the Mom's weekend out that I want to do next spring.. oh the things I gotta do.. but you know.. I love doing those types of things.. they make me happy. I love to plan things like parties and get togethers and such.. so much fun!!!
Ok well I have taken up a bit of time and now I have to get back to work.. take care all and hope everyone has a wonderful Weekend!!!!
T-Town Rocks, I am OUT!!!
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