CYCLE FROM HELL!!!

Ok so from my previous blogs you know I was doing the Follistim injections this time well you may not have noticed the excitement and trust that I had in this medication... I was super excited because I just knew it was gonna work and we would get at least 3 or 4 good sized follies and I trusted that it would do what it was supposed to and put such high expectation in it... well as from my Friday 06/26 u/s and doc appt I am sure you read that it didn't work as it should or at least my body didn't work with it as it should... I had a nice 34mm cyst and 13mm follie on the right side and a 12mm follie on the left side. Well I was told to keep using the Follistim for 3 more days and come back on Monday 06/29 for a second u/s ... welllllll that was yesterday and I get the u/s and the 34mm cyst has shrunk down to 24mm YAHH.. but the 13mm follie that was there also shrunk down to 12mm and looked squished by the cyst.. but on a good note the 12mm follie on the left side soared and grew to an astonishing 20mm YAHHHH again... but bad news the IUI was cancelled because she wanted at least 2 good sized follies. So they say wait to hear the PRN line to find out what to do next. I wait and wait and wait... finally at 4:10pm I get the message that for sure IUI is cancelled, we are to trigger that day and do the deed for the next few nights. Also, she said that my P4 (progesterone) was 10.5 which is better than it has been in a very long time so she said that she didn't think it was a Residual Cyst???? and thought that it would ovulate along with the big 20mm follie... so I am confused beyound believe here... is it a cyst or is it NOT a cyst??? and did she mean the 12mm follie and the 20mm follies may both ovulate?? or that the 20mm and the 24mm cyst not really a cyst will ovulate... so you can see this is bigger than the normal Katie Confusion.. this is some seriously thick confusion crap we are dealing with???? So my plan was to call today 06/30 to get clarification on that ... well that is not the end friends... sit back and relax because this ride is about to get super bumppy baby...
So I go yesterday to take my trigger shot and I being a creature of habit, mix it, spin it, suck it out and inject it in my chubby belly area like I have for the past 2 times I have taken this crap.. well I knew something was a bit different since they needles were the size of an ink pen cartridge but hey.. they are the pharmacy they know what they are doing... so I stick this bigass 1inch needle in my chub, thank God I have enough to pinch an inch.. never thought I would say that but indeed I am happy about that today.... so yeah 1inch needle stuck in my body and I inject the meds... ok.. well the next day (TODAY) I have a super sore belly but expected that since I just used a Rare African "GO GO" Tribe Spear from North Tanzania in it!!! But then I am thinking ok I'll take an OPK just to see a positive.. when you have been trying to get pregnant this long any positive is a glimmer of hope even though you know it isn't real... so anyway.. I take it and uhhh nothing... negative... nada... I freak out and look at the paper that the drug company sent to me and guess what it says to be given intramuscularly (in the muscle), not subcutaneously (in the skin)... so the freak out has quadrupled and I try to hide it but Steve and his super sluth self knew something was up... I told him and he was on my side.. "Why would they give you something totally different after 2 other times?" IDK... I take an HPT just to see if it is in my system.. POSITIVE.. now you would normally think getting a Positive pregnancy test would excite you right?? well I just kinda had a sigh of relief but still confused.
So I stop by walgreens and talk to the pharacist, he says that he believes the meds are in my system and will do what they were intended to do (induce ovulation) but would follow up with my doctor to advise what happened.. SO then while waiting for my doc's office to open I call the drug company that provided the meds.. welllll listen to this crap... the guy (Pharmacists) apologizes and says... "Our distribution center gave you the incorrect needles, the meds should have been administered subcutaneously like the others you have taken" WTF, seriously, I mean SERIOUSLY!!!!! So again he apologizes and says that he believes that the medication should still do what it was intended for but I may experience a little more soreness in the injection site?? HMMMM ya think??? FREAKIN DUHHHHHH it already hurts and I am sure it will bruse (sp) to match the lovely markings I have on the other side of my belly button from the Follistim shot (the 4th one at that)... so now I am in limbo again... patiently (kinda) waiting for the nurse or doctor to return my call on what the HELLO to do about this stupid situation that I have gotten myself into???
Can you see how this is turning out to be the CYCLE FROM HELL!!!!
to be continued.....

Cycle Update

Ok I have been giving myself injections all week and go figure... the 4th day, 4th shot I get a stupid bruise... so now I really look like a junkie... so I freaked out and thought I had a blood clot in my legs and arm... ER visit and $100 co-pay later... it was determined that I was 100% fine and didn't have any blood clots.. so... after scaring myself to death with my thinking... I tried to calm myself by telling myself that I was getting dehydrated... "drink more water and the leg and arm cramps will go away"... "I will not die in my sleep"... so I wake up (yeah I didn't die in my sleep) the next morning give myself yet another shot in the belly start drinking water from the beginning... by the end of the day.. no more leg cramps and arm cramps... I'M A FREAKIN GENIUS!!!! but a genius less $100.00 :(
So after that drama... I finally make it to CD12 Friday 06/26/09, at 8:00am.. time for my b/w and u/s. No drum roll needed, it wasn't that great of an appointment...
36mm Cyst & 13mm follie on the Right
12mm follie on the Left
Uterine Lining lousy 5.3
So I have to wait for the b/w to come back to see if this cycle is OUT or if we can still make it..
1:00pm, I call the PRN line and get the Semi-Good News... my E2 (Estradiol) levels were at 321... so the doc said we are going to ignore the cyst for now and to keep giving myself Follistim 100iu injections this weekend through Monday 06/29/09 and come in at 8:45am for yet another u/s to see if the follies have grown enough to trigger and do the IUI. Now I don't know a lot about E2 levels but from what the internets says levels should be between 200-600 per mature follical (18mm)... so I just did some Katie Math (that is super scarey) and divided 321 by 2 to get 160.5 for each follie I have, but since one is bigger I am sure they aren't the exact same but again.. doing Katie Math... so anyway.. I will take 3 more shots to the belly by Monday's u/s and I just pray to God that it works and the follies grow to at least 17/18mm each. Now I will tell you I am freaking out again so I bought an OPK (ovulation predictor kit) to track this weekend to make sure I don't naturally Ovulate on my own... I am sure I wont until at least Monday but you never know with my crazy body antics.
So I need everyone to Pray for me this weekend... I need those follies to GROW GROW GROW!!! and that stupid cyst to stay as it is or shrink... stupidhead, doodie butt, stinkface cyst.
So there is where I am with this cycle... so we are not OUT, still in the game baby... shooting for a 2pointer.. would be nice if another one popped up and we could score the 3pointer but the likelyhood of that happening is about the same as the likelyhood of me stopping snacks.. ain't gonna happen!!!! Snack-Attacker For Life!!! YEAHHHHH
Alright.. I'm out

I Shot myself!!!

HaHa, pretty dramatic Title ehh??? well I am trying to laugh about this whole thing you know... it isn't your everyday average routine to get up and take a pill at the same time each morning for 5 days and then switch over to injecting yourself every morning at the same time for 5 additional days now is it?
So it all went off without a flaw until I looked at the clock to see what time I had actually taken the injection so to record it and do it again for 4 more days... well I look a the microwave and BAMM!! it is already 6:15am... I just freakin got up at 5:00am.. put the meds out (of the fridge), jumped in the shower, got out, dried off, cam back into the kitchen and started the daunting task of the "1st Shot" .. always the worst and I am glad it is over.. well so then I go to the computer and take a look at the time... 5:27am WTFreak???? apparently our microwave thinks it is above everyone and can just jump ahead 50 freakin minutes and it be OK. NOT... it will be moved back!!!
So all in all the shot went well. I did exactly like the instructions said and everything... so I have now successfully given myself my very first FSH injection.. whoo hoo.. now let's just hope this crap works and this is all worth it in the end...
GROW FOLLIES GROW!!!!
out

Well AF isn't being very nice

She is actually confusing the heck out of me... and kinda scaring me all at the same time. She just isn't playing well with others and I don't like it.. I am wondering if the previous IUI has anything to do with it but I am having some issues that I didn't have prior to IUI. Oh well.. I wont go into detail as it is fairly gross but I can say that I just don't like it and pray that she doesn't hang around longer than normal normal.. I say that because I haven't really had a normal AF since I stopped taking BCPs. And I am slightly irritated because I have been asking my doctor for the past 6 years that I needed to be checked for Endo and she would always just do the pap and say "Oh you are all OK" and I would say "So did you check for Endo?" and she would say "Yes and it came out clear"... well after much research I found that pap's aren't the best way to look for Endo... you have to actually do additional testing in which the RE finally did in 2009 to see and guess what... I have Freaking ENDO!!!!! early stages but she said that it could have been there for a few years and may have gotten worse since Joshua was born... OMG.. why did the other doc not take me seriously.. isn't that the case though... you just about have to have an arm falling off or your liver hanging out of your butt to get some serious attention. RIDICULOUS!!!!!
So anyway.. I am off my soapbox..
Have a great day everyone

The "DIRT DOBER"

So Steve's b-day is coming up in July and he found the gift he wanted... I was hesitant at first and now I am glad I agreed he could get it.. so he gets the "DIRT DOBER", it is a motorcycle/scooter type thing-a-ma-jig.. he totally loves it.. and rides it just about every day.. I am happy that he is enjoying it.. he is a pretty good guy and deserves some Toys ..
So here is a pic... whadda ya think????

and uhhh NO if you are asking if I will be his biker beotch... again the answer is NO

it is a one seater anyway LOL

Calendar of Events (partial)

06/15/09 AF showed her ugly stinkin face (but I was a tiny bit happy about that)
06/17 - 06/21 Clomid 100mg (two little pills each morning that will have me crying like a baby)
06/22 - 06/26 Follistim 100iu (one poke to the belly each morning, can you say "OUCH")
06/26/09 ultra sound and blood work, praying for at least 4 to 5 good sized follies (17mm/up)
From that appointment I will get my next marching orders..
I am guessing, depending on the size, quantity and quality of the follies I will be doing the hCG/Trigger shot (OUCH another shot to the ol' belly) around 06/26 or 06/27, that would put my IUI (36hrs later) at 06/29 or 06/30.. those will all be determined during the follie check..
Then the dreaded TWW (two week wait) begins!!!!

Praying for a miracle before our vacation... COME ON FOLLIES... GROW BABY GROW!!!

so now that everyone is aware of what my month will be like... how about some CHEERING, PRAYING, HAIL MARYS, JOGGING .. oh wait.. that probaby wont help will it.. ok skip the jogging.
OUT

Change of Plan... not sure why???

OK so I get my calendar today and talk to the nurse... she says ok here is your schedule..
Clomid 100mg CD3-7 (right on.. gotcha.. we are a go)
Follistim 100iu CD8-12 (uhhh Huston we have a problem... ) My original talk with the doc suggested that I would be taking these crazy injections for only 3 days.. now 5 WTH... oh well just two more sticks to the belly.. no big deal.. right??

June/July Meds are here

Well today I rec'd my medications that we will use in an attempt to become pregnant this cycle. I can't believe how many needles that I have in my house right now.. you would think that we were some kinda junkies or something... I do have one of the super cool BIOHAZARD Red Sharps boxes to put all my used stuff in and once full or we don't have to use any more I can take it to my local doc's office for them to dispence of properly. Happy side note: I got the Follistim Pen which is super cool because I don't have to get my CSI Science lab coat on and mix the meds, well not all of them at least.. the hCG I still have to but I am a Pro at that now.. no biggy.

So I am all set other than having my calendar.. should be here today or I will go pick it up today if she can't get it to fax to me. I start the Clomid tomorrow morning.. not really looking forward to the s/e of crying and just being overly upset about everything on earth for a few weeks but hey if it works I'll be crying for joy!!!

So I am attaching a pic of my new Meds just so the world can see what I am having to do in order to get a much wanted child or children.. yes our chances of multiples are up to like 20-25% now that we are taking all of these drugs... I'll be slap happy if we get preggo... if it is two or three, I will be slap happy x 2 or 3. :)

Outty

YIPEE Insurance is covering my medications!!!

Ok I can only be happy that they are paying for my medications (I only have to pay $89.60 out of $839.69) because I sure as heck aint happy about having to inject myself with medications that my body should be producing on it's own... But hey I have to be happy about one aspect of this painstaking journey we are on right????
I am not sure yet how much Insurance is paying for the cycle of procedures... they can only say "We pay a portion of the fee for the underlying issue, we do not pay for any procedures that actually produce a pregnancy" but I have learned that depending on the codes that my RE's office uses a lot more of it gets covered than I originally thought.. Now they may want to drop me after this is all said and done but hey, if I have one or two additional little Piers in tote, I'll be a happy happy camper.
So anyway.. told you I was gonna update more with this cycle.. I spoke with Lynnette/nurse and she is getting my calendar ready and will fax it over either today or tomorrow.. so I'll see if I can scan it in or just type it out for you..
Tata for now

Our next venture!

So since last time we have tried a few times to become preggo again.. well here I am today 06/15/09 and guess who decided to visit? AF, she is here and she isn't being nice... I was actually waiting for her so I am a tiny bit happy she is here.. only a tiny bit. So last cycle we did 100mg of Clomid, hCG trigger shot (yep had to give myself another shot), and an IUI procedure. Well apparently it didn't take/work. So this cycle we have moved up on the Treatment Ladder, I am going to take 100mg Clomid CD3-7, FSH injectables (yes more shots to give myself) CD8-10, then after a mid-cycle u/s they will determine when I should take the hCG trigger shot (yet another shot in my belly), and schedule our second IUI attempt. The past two cycles I have had to take progesterone suppliments since my May levels were at 5.8 and my June levels were at 9.3.. so I am kinda expecting to take them again this cycle.. Have a script at the Apothecary Shoppe waiting for me...
So I am trying to be hopeful about this cycle as it is our 23rd cycle of TTC baby #2. It is really hard though, you just get to a point where you think it just ISN'T gonna happen and try to just think of your life as it currently is. I am totally blessed with my current family situation, but you do have to wonder if there is that itsy bitsy slight chance that your family should be a little bigger right? I shouldn't feel guilty for thinking or wanting more children. I get asked numerous times by co-workers, friends and family, as well as Joshua... "When are you going to have another one?" well it just doesn't seem right to tell people that you aren't too close to that "Hey we have been working on that for 2 years now, can you get off my back??" and poor Joshua.. we just say "Maybe one day buddy". He is super excited that he will have a new cousin in a few weeks.. We all are... can't wait to meet the newest little family member in July.
So keep your fingers x'd and your prayers plentiful for us... we need all the help we can get. Well I should say I do since I am the culprit on why we can't conceive. But anyhoo... our Family Needs Lots of PRAYERS please... I would pay you for them but sorry, the IF treatments are taking all my OT as it is... maybe a raincheck and I will repay you with Prayers for a time you need them! DEAL???
I will update as the process goes on since this is my first injectables cycle I kinda want to keep a Diary so to speak of how it goes and any side effects I have.. Last cycle the 100mg of Clomid had me crying like a baby most of the month... I can only imagine what this cycle will be like with not only the 100mg of Clomid but the FSH injectables... Glorious Journey (or roller coster more like it)..
Tata for now